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03 September 2010 @ 01:05 am
Premonitions  
I realize now more than ever.
I really did predict my upcoming year of 2010.
ECSTATIC
LUST
MAGIC

I watched a vlog I did a year ago in November 2009. “18 year old Ella. Do not worry. Continue believing in the MAGIC and dreams and you’ll find it. You’ll reach it. Do not worry.” And I saw myself and I thought I looked radiant and there was something so soothing and calming and it’s like I was directly in fact talking to myself as a 19year old in the age of MAGIC.

I realize that I do have a special power within me. I realize that anything I want can happen. I realize that I can tap into the spiritual world very easily.

“Gosh, it's January 2010. I'm 19. There is so much going inside me, so much going on in my mind that I want to experience and do, so much that I want to feel, so much that I want to believe in, and just understand that my LIFE is UNLIMITEDABANDONING ECSTASTICLUSTMAGICFREEDOM.

Ecstatic lust magic. Freedom. Love. Something like that. My cousin who's 30 told me about this. That restless feeling of age 19. Of feeling like the world is at your fingertips and you just want to touch it, touch it, touch the world forever.


I have a lot to say. I have a lot to feel. Screaming is a fantastic release, as is crying. People tend to shy away from those extreme natural releases, but it's goshdamn .A.RELEASE.

I WANT TO FEEL EVERYTHING AT ONCE. I WANT TO FEEL LOVE CONSTANTLY BURNING IN MY HEART, IN MY THROAT, IN MY EYES.

Is 19 going to be a whole new oragasmic life year that all human beings experience or am I just foreshadowing my own reflected destiny, once again?

Ecstatic lust magic. Love. Feeling. Thanks.”



I believe in MAGIC. What is magic?
Magic. possibly seeing into a bracelet and understanding how it connects with you and your life.
Understanding how a stone can heal and cleanse your soul.
Loving yourself so truly that you know that you’re completely whole and radiant on your own.
Magic.
Believing in miracles. Believing that anything is possible. “He saw that the Soul of the World was the Soul of God and that was his own soul. And the boy knew he could do anything and create miracles.”

Anything that I put my mind to, will happen.
I’m really restless right now. I want to finish my finals, but I also want to spend a lot of time on them. I want to go dancing but I know I just have to wait to finals are over to relax and enjoy. God, PIRATE FAIRE is gonna be so much fun.

Just 16 more days…